looking backwards and forward

today, nothing unusual or special happened... just like my day yesterday and what will be tomorrow. as long as i am here in this job, nothing special would appear from nowhere. only miracles can change things, i guess.

i can't help but take the ride again... it's weird. yes, it is! for there's not so much to look back for. maybe i refuse to look back... hmmm... i'm beginning to sound like i hated my past soo much. please don't get me wrong. i am okay. life is okay. perhaps, it's the weather that's bringing the mood. aaaw! and our upcoming wedding anniversary. no matter how lightly i take it, i feel swirling and twisting in my stomach. pain reminds me that i should come up with a plan or at least, list down the things that i should do on the "A" day. aaahck! how do i plan? how can i plan? i'm freakin' broke! haha! wish me luck!

i see hubby... his face is always shining. it's sweet... it keeps me going. everyday...